Of late there has been lot of media hype over triple Talaaq which is making the Muslims confused and also has led to hatred for the law. Hence I would like to put things into context so that each one of us can understand what it actually is.
Talaaq is a way or means of separation from any kind of oppressive or dissatisfied marriage. When a man or women decide that they cannot stay with each other; then that’s when the step is taken, after all measures of reconciliation between husband and wife have been used. Instead, if divorce is implemented in the court or through uniform civil code then it still means the same – separation of husband and wife. But the sad part is that the media and those with vested interests make it to appear as so good that they claim it better than the rulings of our Creator!
And with the issue gaining steam with Triple Talaaq in one setting, I would say it’s better that the woman is separated from such a man. She doesn’t deserve such a pathetic man who has no concern and character to take care of a woman. And one who is haste in such matters is only showing disrespect to the Deen-Islam or is totally ignorant of the Deen!
Let’s simplify Talaaq for everyone’s understanding but before that we must know what is Nikah. Nikah is nothing but a contract in which a man asks the wali (guardian) of the woman to take over the responsibility of that woman as his wife in this life, which has to be then agreed by the woman. And all this must take place in the presence of 2 witnesses in order to complete the Nikah.
Now Talaaq means divorce. A man can give three Talaaqs during his marital life. To put it in a simple language, Allah has bestowed the man basically with three chances to be with the woman he has got married to, after giving her the due Mehr(dowry).
Yes! In Islam women gets the dowry and not the other way around what happens in India or other countries in the sub-continent. That has nothing to do with Islam but with culture, which is totally a wrong practice that is prevalent from many years!
So now the question is how it’s actually meant to be executed?
When a man gives Talaaq for the first time, it means he has given divorce or has intended to get separated. And Allah has given three menstrual cycles as Iddah (waiting period) before which the husband can take his wife back. If he takes back within the Iddah then she will remain as his wife but if the Iddah gets over then she no longer remains wife and the divorce gets completed.
Now if they want to get back after the Iddah then they have to get a new contract (nikah) done.
Thereafter if the circumstances arise and the man gives 2nd Talaaq, then again there is a waiting period of 3 menstrual cycles and the man can take back again within that period. Incase he doesn’t, then the divorce gets completed and he will have to repeat the nikah again to get back to her.
Now if he has already used two chances and when he gives Talaaq for the third time then they cannot get back again as husband and wife, until the women gets married to another man and she is divorced from him too due to their differences, after she has fulfilled her role as a wife.
It has been put as a word of caution here that this nikah is not marriage of convenience or just as an easy way to get back to the first husband. As Allah knows the intention of what you do & He is aware of all things!
Few of the scholars opine that this is just to warn the men in not being haste so that they are aware after this he cannot get back his wife unless she marries another man. So it’s just a way to prevent them from doing so, for people who understand. And Allah is all-wise and just in every regard.
Special situations where Iddah period varies:
1. Iddah period for pregnant women is until she gives birth.
2. Iddah period for women whose menses have stopped are 3 months (Islamic Calendar).
And when divorce is given the first and the second time which are revocable kind – which means it can be taken back, then the women must stay at her husband’s place unless there are chances of any immoral act or the safety of the women is compromised. It is the responsibility of the husband to take care of her food and clothing when she stays with him during the waiting period.
We need to understand that divorce is an act which is lawful but it is one of the most hated act at the sight of our Creator. He gave it for us to use as a last resort to make things easier for one another and not to torture each other.
Children will always be father’s responsibility and he has to pay for their upbringing.
As for women, Allah has bestowed them with Khula which means they can seek for divorce from an oppressive or dissatisfied marriage and make herself free from that. Here the woman gives back her Mehr and her husband is asked to free her from the marriage. Basically it is the annulment of the nikah. And they can get back with a new nikah if they intend to.
We need to realise that our creator has been so merciful that He has given it as a means for both the husband and wife to take proper decisions and not to be haste, when such decisions are taken. He has given chances so that they can get back after separating from each other but also given a warning by limiting those chances so that they don’t abuse one another. Thus, protecting the rights of men and women both.
I hope that I could make it much easier to each one of us to understand.
If incase I have wronged anything in this matter, consider it as human error and feel free to correct me.
Rest Allahu Alam (Allah knows better)
© Dr.Nisar Ahmad bin Ibrahim